Saturday, October 14, 2006
how we keep our secrets; well, that's a little different. one thing is certain, whatever it is we're trying to hide; we're never ready for that moment when the truth gets naked. that's the problem with secrets; like misery, they love company. they pile up and up until they take over everything, until you don't have room for anything else, until you're so full of secrets you feel like you're going to burst.
the thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free. whether good or bad, at least they're out in the open, like it or not. and once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore. the problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control, you're not.
but wouldn't it be very much better if it'd all be truth and no lies, and no secrets? with secrets, it feels like you're choking, and your fighting for air that you're not recieving. and it seems like you can't be who you are, because to cover up for your secrets, you have to act like someone else, someone you're not. and if that happens alot, you tend to lose yourself along the way. and when you finally realise, do you try to find yourself and free the burden in you even though it feels hella wrong and a big mistake to do so? or you skip a whole chapter of your life?
it turns out, sometimes you have to do the wrong thing. sometimes you have to make a big mistake to figure out how to make things right. the stakes are painful. but they're the only way to find out who you really are.
yours truly
